Bruh. I’ve officially been out of college for as long as I’ve been in college. I’m not gunna lie, that stat scares me a bit. Am I getting old? Have I peaked? What am I doing? Am I trending toward my career goals? What the fuck are my career goals?

These are all questions I ask myself regularly. If I’m being honest – which I strive to always be with you guys – I don’t know what I’m doing right now. I don’t know if higher higher education is even for me, but I know I need to give it a go and find out.

Before I left for Japan I “studied” – who are we kidding, I didn’t study. I bought the books and stared at them until about a week before my scheduled exam, skimmed through the chapters and prayed for the best. The test environment was not what I expected at all. Everything was done on a computer, which I’m usually fine with but call me old-school I need paper, something tactile, in those settings to help me push through. The gentleman assigned to sit next to me felt the need to type as if he had 3 pound weights on each of his fingers, and breathed as if there wasn’t enough oxygen in the room.

This lasted for four hours.

When I pressed submit on the final section, and impatiently awaited what I was sure was the lowest possible score you can receive, I thought to myself what’s the worst that can happen, I take it again?

Fast-forward to today and I’m two weeks away from taking my first Graduate school course at my alma matter. I’m both excited and anxious with a little bit of uncertainty mixed in for good measure.

Will this help me further my career along? What even is my career anymore? Is this going to be a worthwhile investment? Do I really need to be racking up more debt? I should pay off the one I have now first amirite?

Are they really going to teach me useful shit that I can actually benefit from?

These are all the questions that pop into my head on a regular basis.